Learnings I got from my grandmother’s life

My paternal grandmother (Daadi/ Amma) passed away in June last year. She was around 90 years old and was sick in the last 2-3 months. We had an idea that she might not be able to make it this time, but despite being aware of her age and sickness, it was not easy for me to accept that I wouldn't be seeing her in her shop everyday.

 

For the last 2-3 decades, I have been seeing her at one place – in her shop, irrespective of any occasion. The sight of seeing her in her shop was a constant that I had thought would become a thing of the past one day but when it happened, many questions started appearing to me - will keep it for some other time. 

She used to wake up around 4am in the morning (except for the last one year of her life) and would open her shop around 7am and sit there every day.

Now that she is gone for around 9 months, I could organize my thoughts and note down a few things that I admire about her:

 

• Having a social network: Sitting in the shop every day gave her a platform to talk to people and keep her mind clean. She had her own network of people. 

• Do something every day that you love doing: It was sitting at the shop for her. In the last 4-5 years, the shop was not a medium of livelihood, but it was something that she enjoyed doing, something that kept her calm and gave her time to think.

• Making time for yourself: Almost every day (except for the last one year), she would wake up at 3-4am, take a bath, and meditate. When I was 7-8 years old, we would make fun of her that Amma wakes up early, takes a bath and then sleeps again while sitting; but now, I understand how important it is to have time for yourself when you don’t have to talk to anyone, when you can be just yourself.

 

Until last one year, she lived alone on her own. She would wash her own clothes, cook food for herself, and even make flour from the grains. She was an independent woman. At her young age, her husband died; she had many kids to get married to, had to run the family financially, and struggled with those people who only increased her struggles. I came to know about her arguments with people who would say that "a woman should not sit at the shop in a market. It does not look good". How she handled those arguments was a learning experience for me. 

 

She was not a perfect person and had her own follies. What I admire about her is the discipline and consistency to do something every day and manage the challenges that life throws at you and most importantly - without losing yourself. 

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