Just a solo trip or a milestone?

- May 25, 2024

For the last 3 years, I have been wanting to do a solo trip but I could overcome my inner inhibitions. This article is about a journey from fear to fear and courage to overpower that fear.

I chose Pondicherry for this journey.

Pondicherry is about 800 km from the place where I currently stay, and it took me around 16 hours by bus to travel there.

Despite being a famous tourist destination and just an overnight journey, it was a unique, different, and a milestone journey for me. It was different not just because I experienced a few unique things there but also because it was about overcoming a few inner hesitations.

View of an old shop in Pondicherry from the bus

A lot of people go to different cities, towns, and countries and make trips. What was different about my trip that you should give 5 minutes to read this article?

It was different because it was my first solo trip, I identify as a woman, I am in my early 30s, I am from an economically middle-class family, and I am from the northern parts of India. Before going on the trip, there were a few videos of solo women travelers that I watched, which gave me clarity. I have a friend who does solo trips and another who stays in hostels; seeing them gave me courage. So, I believe that I owe it to anyone who is looking for some similar comfort before traveling alone.

Overcoming Fear: I wanted to go on a solo trip for the last 3 years, but due to hesitation and fear of the unknown, I could not do it. Last year, I had booked tickets for a very green and calm place in Western Ghats but somewhere the fear of traveling alone was there. Since the land and language both were unknown to me, with a heart full of fear, I make some small efforts to find an affordable accommodation. When I didn’t find it in my budget, I didn’t think of staying in a hostel or any shared places. Not finding an accommodation sounded like a fair excuse, and the denial that I was scared of doing a solo trip sustained without me acknowledging that fear.

This time, fear was there, but the “shame of having fear” exceeded the fear itself, and I not only booked tickets but also made sure that I executed the plan.

I am a selective follower of Susmita Sen, and in one of her videos, she said, “Fear is a tool. You can either use it to destroy you or make yourself better”. The last time, when I planned the trip, I let my fear limit me, but this time, fear took a backseat.

Coping with the unknown: In the last few years, what I have understood is that life is mostly about the flow and less about planning. Most of the parts of life go unplanned, and only a few are as per plan. One of the things that stays constant is the unknown, and when it hits you that your personality, thinking and then doing things rather than making impromptu plans, does not go with life’s unknown, it becomes quite uncomfortable. It is the way it is; either you adjust to it or keep on getting anxious. So, this was my attempt to adjust myself to a few unknowns. I stayed with three unknown girls and talked to a lot of new people from different continents.

Was it easy? I found it the most difficult when I was booking the tickets, but now it seems super simple and easy. It is calming to know that I can pull it off if I have to.

This whole trip was not about going and talking to people, expanding my external boundaries, and making connections; this whole trip was about knowing my own limits and expanding my inner connection with myself.

At the beginning of this trip, I was a bit hesitant but courageous. As I sit in my room comfortably and write this small piece of experience, I am still hesitant about solo trips, but this time, I am proud as well!