One breath at a time!

Life is full of happy, sad, boring, and joyful moments. Some people manage through it well, while others need help when the moments are difficult. I tend to fall into the latter category. Taking a little more time and needing a little more support than usual is where the difficulty begins.

Recently, life was happening as usual, and then, due to a few things going out of balance, it took me almost two quarters to heal, and I am still in the process of doing that.

The doctor told me that it was depression induced by anxiety. Thinking about it, I felt like sharing it. Sometimes seeing that someone else has also gone through the same journey assures us that it is okay to be sick, sad, or anxious.

Challenges: Some of the challenges that I faced were:

• Finding a good professional help
• Explaining to your friends what you were going through
• Managing the office was one of the biggest triggers, but I had to do it.

Signs:

• Having sudden anxiety: At the beginning, for a few times, I thought that it was acidity, but later I realised that it was anxiety. Some of the things that were happening were: difficulty breathing, chest pain, nausea, shivering of hands or limbs
• Not having an interest in the usual activities that you used to enjoy doing: Watching a movie was not a big thing, but nothing seemed to interest me — food, movies, sleeping — nothing.
• Crying spells: feeling like crying even when nothing seems to have happened.
• Either overeating or not eating enough
• One of the things that I observed was that the speed of my walk would become much slower. I was doing things slowly.
• Feeling angry or anxious about even things as small as it starting to rain in the morning and you having to do laundry

and a few more things.

Big NO:

• While being anxious, to avoid it, I would go to social media and start scrolling since it gives one immediate distraction, but at the back of my mind, I would know that I was just trying to avoid it, and using social media and watching useless and random content would only make it worse in the long run.

What helped?

• Taking professional help: Sometimes talking to a therapist sounds like we are just talking to someone and paying for it, but it helps. It helps since they are trained professionals. They know how to navigate a conversation in a way that helps you think and relax.
• People / Socialising: Having people on your side who don’t mind being uncomfortable while you cry for no reason, chatting with you when your things don’t make sense, or staying with you just because you need someone to talk to is a blessing. Some of the things that I felt lucky to have:
• Someone who would offer home-cooked food unconditionally
• Those kids who unknowingly made you feel better
• That friend who stayed with you and tolerated your unexplained cries
• That person who didn’t think even twice when you needed them the most
• That friend who shared even their anxieties and helped you reflect
• That office friend who didn’t have even the slightest idea of what anxiety or depression is but made sure that she was roaming around with you when you felt anxious or needed someone
• That kitten who unknowingly showered their trust on you
• Those dogs who didn’t take a day to trust me and sit near me
• Being a person who likes to stay at home, I never thought that people could be this helpful, but remember that they are also humans. Sometimes, they also need space, or they get overwhelmed. At that moment, take a step back and use some other tools, such as journaling, recording, or even sleeping.
• Walks: Sometimes even moving out of bed would take hours, but even in those days, the walking helped.
• Taking a break from the things that were making it worse: For me, it was office, social media, screen time, etc.

Time heals everything, but things become less difficult when you have good people around you. One of those people is you yourself. All of these people can help you only when you are with yourself, by being kind sometimes and pushing yourself when needed.

Some days are still difficult, but it gets better. Using these tools, such as walking, sharing, talking to people, journaling, etc., helps.

The things that helped the most:

When you are panicking, not thinking about anything else but just thinking about surviving,

Being kind and non-judgmental to yourself

Letting people help you

I am still in the process of healing. I hope that this piece of information was helpful to you. If you are also on a similar journey, I can tell you that it takes time, but it gets better.